GUEST BLOG - Rebecca Metzger - God's Faithfullness

When Joanie asked me to blog, I said of course!  What a great opportunity to share a testimony about God's promises and his faithfulness to me, right?  Well, putting it on paper has been a lot more difficult than I could have imagined, but I'm grateful for the chance.

Erik and I were married in July of 2002.  We were already in our mid-late 20's so talk of children had already begun and we were ready!  I could never have imagined how difficult it would be to get pregnant.  Year one went by, then 2.  Year three I had surgery to remove endometriosis, and was sure that would be the end of our infertility.  Year three came and went but still no pregnancy.  Pressure was mounting from everybody.  We prayed constantly for a child. During this time, Erik received a promise from the Lord that we would have children.  Not a child, but children!  The Lord did not give me that same promise, and as more time went on, I began to lose faith in the promise. 

That 3+ years felt like an eternity, but I found myself pregnant and we could NOT hold it in.  We felt that after all that time we were going to shout it from the rooftops that our God had answered our prayer and kept his promise.  We threw a party and told everyone about how God had answered our prayers, and looked forward to the blessing of this baby.

Nine weeks into my pregnancy I went for my first prenatal visit, only to find out that our baby had no heartbeat.  I stayed in denial for a few weeks, convincing myself that it was just too soon to hear the baby's heart and that I would leave my next appointment rejoicing.  I miscarried at 11 weeks, and the result for Erik and I was devastation.  We named our baby Hope and gave it back to the Lord. 

In the fall of 2006, I got pregnant.  We were thrilled but cautious.  I remember Erik praying with me and telling me that we would have to trust God, lay it at His feet, put it in His hands, and not live in fear.  I praised God for every little sign of my pregnancy, including the morning sickness!   On the night of Thanksgiving, I started to have familiar signs of a miscarriage.  We went to bed feeling numb.  During the night it got worse, and there was no doubt in my mind that I was losing the baby.  In the morning my parents came in and prayed with us.  I was angry and tired and really didn't see any point in praying at that point.  My dad prayed confidently in the blessing of our baby.  I remeber him asking me, "why are you so quick to believe that lie?".  I could not believe his faith!  I felt so sad that he was going to be disappointed.  I thought maybe he didn't understand what was happening to me.  How could I explain it?   I just listened without any faith in the words coming from his mouth.  We wondered how we could go on hoping for something so hopeless.  A few days later my dad called me and said the Lord had given him a verse for me.  It was Phillipians 1:6, be confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it...

I did not go to the doctor that week, I wanted to let "nature take its course", and delay the inevitable.  When I felt like it was over, I called my doctor to let him know what happened.  He asked me to come in just to get checked out.  I  told Erik not to come with me.  I knew what they were going to tell me and didn't think there was any reason for him to be there.  They took me back for an ultrasound,  which I felt was completely unnecessary, and asked me a few questions about my previous pregnancy.  I remember looking away from the monitor and willing myself not to cry.  I heard her say "good news" and even laugh a little.  I looked at her in shock, wondering if maybe I had just won a car, and she pointed to the monitor and said "there's the heartbeat".  I could see it too!  A beautiful tiny amazing miracle heart pumping at 156 beats a minute!   Through my tears I said "thank you Jesus", and the tech raised one hand to heaven and said, "yes, thank you Jesus".   I cried myself out of the hospital, through the parking garage and to my car.  I called Erik who was driving at the time and told him to pull over.  He started shouting Praise God!  Praise God!  He says he shouted so loud and cried so hard it gave him a headache.  Now that's pure joy!

It's awesome to look back at a time when I had to have so much faith in God, only to realize how little I really had.  I'm so thankful for the people that God has put in our lives who were able to have faith when we couldn't.  Together, Erik and I learned so much through the trials which ultimately brought us closer to God.  We need to remain humble in our walk with God , trusting that He is in the midst of doing something great all the time.   It may not make sense to us, but in the end God's wine is always best and he often blesses us with a double portion.

We thank God for our miracle baby Beau and the very best of His double portion, baby Will.