The Adventure of a Lifetime

The Adventure of a Lifetime

In the Beth Moore Bible study “Filled to the Measure” Beth talks about having the adventure of a lifetime if we will only seek and allow God to fill us to the measure.  This study has moved me to tears on several occasions, first in that I had to ask myself “Do I truly want God to fill my life, to fill my entire being with Him?”   I have asked this question of myself before and submitted all to God but once again, I asked myself the question and allowed (and still allowing) God to search my heart and fill me.  After hearing Beth Moore’s “hairbrush” story, I asked this question with just a little trepidation.  As I continued to dig deeper into this study I knew that I could not do anything other than ask God to fill me to the measure.  As for the adventure part it seems as if I have been on this path for the past couple of years.

In November of 2009, broad changes were brought to the world of financial aid in higher education. These changes resulted in me and thousands of other people losing our jobs.  On a November Monday morning, me and 13 of my coworkers called in for what we thought was a normal Monday morning conference call to hear someone say that our jobs were eliminated, effective immediately. I remember the sickening feeling in my stomach as I thought of sharing this news with Clyde and knowing that we would now cope with significantly less income.  I remembered back to July 2005 while attending a national financial aid conference in New York when a rep from this company approached me asking if we might have a conversation about me coming to work for them. Weeks later, the same person flew to Nashville to begin those conversations and a few weeks later I was flying to Boston to meet others in the company.  They made it clear that they were not interviewing me for a position but wanted me to come on board, the sooner the better. I accepted the position and for the next four years I loved what I did, believed in the purpose and earned not only a great salary but nice bonuses for a job well done. All of that came to an end with a phone call.

After catching my breath and wiping away a few tears, I sent letters to two institutions in TN offering consulting/temporary staff assistance.  Rhodes College in Memphis immediately called and after only two months of unemployment I had a seven month contract for employment. The pay was considerably less and the travel far less fun and exciting but I had a job.  During my final month at Rhodes, I received a phone call from a company based in Atlanta asking if I would be interested in coming on board with them beginning August 1^st.  My first assignment would be at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, MD.  They estimated that I would be needed for one month. However, once there, the assignment continued to be extended and ultimately lasted three months. I shared at our women’s retreat in February 2011, how the assignment developed into a nightmare and ended with my self-esteem shattered and a piece of my identity falling to pieces.  In November of 2010 I filed an application to receive unemployment, a frustrating and exhausting process.

Although unemployed and still somewhat reeling from the Johns Hopkins experience, I loved staying home, having the luxury of taking care of our home, spending time with my parents and my grandchild.  But reality was never far away and I knew that I needed a job.  On a Monday morning in June, I received a phone call from MTSU asking me to consider a proposal to lead a call center for eleven weeks which would be staffed by 10 grad students. These students would fend phone calls for the Office of Admissions and Financial Aid during peak registration and I would offer assistance as they answered the phone calls. I reluctantly walked through this door believing that God had opened it for me.  I tried to be thankful but I questioned God about this “opportunity.”  While working this temporary assignment, MTSU asked if I would be interested in a fulltime position in their office and with no other prospects in hand, interviewed for the position. This past Friday, they called and offered the position to me. I am to give them my answer this week.  Again, I asked God, “Why this job with a salary less than half of what I was making a couple of years ago?” “Why a job that is 45 minutes away?” I had hoped for a prestigious opportunity that involved the pay, travel, challenges and excitement of previous positions. I have struggled with pride and being thankful and contented.

While all of the details I have shared so far are important to the adventure, they are not the adventure of a lifetime.  The adventure of a lifetime is that after the first job loss, God moved my heart to lead the women’s ministry of our church. I was scared to death and gave Him every reason why I was not the person to do this. He also led me to write two letters of restitution which brought responses of grace and forgiveness. After the Johns Hopkins nightmare, God showed me that “I was a treasure, A Sight to Behold” which became the theme for the Women’s Retreat in February 2011. During my days in the MTSU Call Center, I fell in love with the now nine students that I worked with. We laughed together, ate huge lunches together and one amazing day, God opened the door for me to share Jesus with five of them. I don’t know why He chose a moment in time when only five and not all nine were in the room but He knows and I can with confidence leave that with Him. And there have been other God opportunities, too many to include at this time.  I am realizing that I have to make choices; I can choose to be discontented where I am or I can choose to allow God to take me where He wants to serve His purposes.  A new adventure will begin the first week of October when I will begin working in the Office of Financial Aid at MTSU.  I am just waiting to see where this God given adventure will take me and will keep you posted but one thing I know for sure, when I travel with God, I have the Adventure of a Lifetime.

Thanks so much for allowing me to share my journey.
Joanie

GUEST BLOG - Aubry Maxson

Because it's really good stuff and because I want it to be part of our blog archives and because you might have missed it the first time...here is Aubrey's blog post. And did you know that you can make comments on our blog?  If you like it, let's us know! 

AUBREY'S POST
Recently I have felt a prompting to focus on the nature of God.  I don't think it's coincidental at all that when I focus in on something, it's as though my senses become heightened to that one object or concept and I begin to see patterns and deeper connections that I previously passed by or overlooked.  It starts to pop up in sermons, Bible study, songs, and conversation with friends - like pieces to a puzzle.  That's when I know that I need to listen to the message and I get excited about how things begin to fit together. 

I've had some disappointment and heartache this year.  Kind of a string of disappointments, one after another.  Every year has its ups and downs, but this one in particular has had one big bump after another.  I don't know about you, but I discovered that I can only get knocked down so many times before I get really wary about getting back on my feet.  That's when the doubt starts to creep in.  I start to think negatively and begin to look for the next thing that's going to go wrong.  I question what I am doing to possibly cause these things.  And then there's the usual, "Why me?"

There hasn't been anger at God.  Just confusion. I thought that my prayers and plans were normal and appropriate.  I thought my dreams and expectations were going to come to pass.  But God shut doors or detoured my path time and time again.  In my confusion I have come to some realizations.  There's been an awful lot of focus on me in those plans, prayers, dreams, and expectations.  And while what I hoped for wasn't necessarily wrong, they were my plans, dreams, etc.  During one especially disappointing day, I caught myself repeating over and over, "Is this about me?" and then everything was quiet and I felt God's very real response - "This is about me."

A friend recently introduced me to the singer/songwriter Laura Story.  I listened to her testimony on YouTube and was struck by a few lines in her amazing song Blessings.  She talks about trying to reconcile her knowledge that God is completely powerful and completely loving but He hasn't healed her husband who is still suffering from the effects of a brain tumor.   Laura sings about how we pray for blessings that we think are good and appropriate, like prosperity, health, etc. but sometimes God gives us what we need and not what we want.   He doesn't cause the trial, the pain, the hurt.  This world, this life does.  But He doesn't necessarily wipe it away.  She says she is learning that perhaps sometimes He lets us stay broken (even uncomfortably) in order for His light to shine out of all the cracks inside of us. She talks about a blessedness that comes in waiting on the Lord and a deeper intimacy with Him that comes when we walk through a dark valley.  There is a reliance on God's word that we only know when everything else fades away.  Even though things aren't unfolding the way we thought or desired, we are still receiving His blessings, His love, His peace.  She sings about deep thirst and aches that the world doesn't satisfy and how these are longings that remind us that this world isn't our home.  Whew!  Powerful stuff!  Definitely convicting stuff.

That immediately takes my focus off myself and instead puts it on God's plan for me and ultimately His purposes and glory.  When I feel as though I can't see or feel Him and I am absolutely unclear about how to proceed, I focus in on the nature of God.  I counteract those doubts with what I know to be true about Him.  I know that I'm a child of God.  I know He loves me with a deep and everlasting love.  I know that while He may not eliminate the pain or the trials that this world throws my way, He will walk with me.  He is the giver of perfect peace.  He is the provider of grace for each day.  It's then that I start to see the blessings He is pouring out.   It's then I begin to feel excitement about His plans.  If my plans (which I thought were pretty good!) aren't going to come to pass, what does He have in mind?  If His will involves a "waiting time", what does He desire of me in this delay?  These things are easy to pray and much harder to accept and actually live out.   I am prompted to pray that I will not only be open to His plans for me, but that I will have His strength to walk along the path where He leads. 

Beth Moore excerpt from Filled to the Measure (hairbrush story)

Ladies,
Thought you might want to see the excerpt from our current Bible Study, Filled to the Measure.  After I watch this video I have to ask this question, "What would God do in my life if I would allow Him to Fill Me To The Measure."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xtk5WgzZcYA

Welcome, BCN Women!

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